The Simple Choice: On Anxiety and Choice

 

By Venetia Breene, LICSW

In the US, each passing year has become ever more demanding due to increasing demands on time, both societally-induced and self-induced. We are given endless choices in every aspect of our lives.

●      We can choose from multiple brands of beverages or a variety of grocery stores.

●      We can vacillate between thousands of smartphone apps, social media platforms, and other technologies.

●      We can order food from dozens of countries from hundreds of restaurants, and on and on and on.

It is a tyranny of over-choice that produces fear of making the wrong choice.

Moreover, in a world of apparently infinite choice, we are under enormous pressure to decide with some finality who we are and what we believe in at a very young age. This decision too often comes LONG before we know ourselves fully. Society tells us to figure it all out before we graduate from college or we are bound to be unsuccessful outcasts!  As a result, according to the ADAA, anxiety has become the number one mental health issue in North America and it’s estimated that one-third of the North American adult population experiences anxiety.

We are not only the victims of a society that propels us forward, we are also the perpetrators of this way of thinking. Life has become more public than ever unless we consciously choose to keep it private. A lot of choices we make and distractions we add to our lives are self-induced, made and added to keep up with expectations and compete with our peers. And it’s easy to keep score since everyone knows everything about everyone else’s lives on social media. For too many, these distractions are a way of avoiding the hard questions in life.

A Blast from the Past: Reframing "Normal"

Our current state of overwhelming choice might feel inevitable, but it's important to remember it's a historical development, not a universal human experience. Let's take a trip back in time.

Following World War II, the United States experienced an economic boom. This, coupled with advancements in manufacturing and advertising, led to a dramatic explosion in consumer goods and choices.  Think about it: the 1950s saw the rise of the suburbs, the proliferation of household appliances, and the emergence of a national identity built around consumption. This period, documented in books like "The Hidden Persuaders" by Vance Packard, cemented the idea of "keeping up with the Joneses" and the relentless pursuit of "more."

However, this hyper-consumerism isn't the norm for most of the world.  Many cultures around the globe prioritize experiences, community, and living simply.  Think about the concept of "Ikigai" in Japan, which focuses on finding your life purpose, or the Latin American concept of "Buen Vivir," which emphasizes living well in harmony with nature. And the abundant choice of hyper-consumerism certainly isn’t what I experienced when I spent time in Rwanda.

We often hear observations from those who have moved or are visiting from other parts of the world about the sheer breadth of choices we have in the United States as consumers. Many countries in Western Europe straddle the past and the present in a way that differs greatly from North America consumerism. The number of brands to choose from at the store is vastly lowered, for example. People shop online, yes, but they also shop locally with more frequency. Anecdotally and statistically, the pace is slowed and the quality of life is improved.

A View from Rwanda

As I mentioned before, for a period of time, I lived in Rwanda and was immersed in a place where it wasn’t about the type of electrolyte-rich sparkling or flavored water you wanted, but rather the accessibility of clean water at all. Food insecurity and a lack of resources in general come with a world of other stressors, that is inarguable. And yet it is a window into seeing the impact that the absence of overstimulation has on a culture that isn’t faced with a constant barrage of commercialism.   

Choice is a privilege, not a right, and a gift we take for granted too easily. For the majority of Rwandans life is a constant struggle just to make sure their families have food on their table.  Yet there is a sense of gratitude for the little they do have, and an ability to find joy in one another’s company. There is also a sense of hope that life will improve and there is a hunger amongst the Kigali community to be a part of making it better. Life goes at a slower pace. Many people are happy, relaxed, thoughtful and friendly and laid-back laughter seems much more regular.

 I have experienced more joy and energy amongst the people in some of the poorest most rural communities in Africa, than I have amongst my peers in my hometown in the US. Living in Rwanda has brought a deeper appreciation of the small blessings in life that surround me and that are suddenly much more apparent in the absence of distractions, and the fear of making the wrong choice.

Bringing Balance Back: Reframing Our Relationship with Choice

As I recognized just how much choice is a privilege, I found myself wondering whether too much choice may be more of a curse than a benefit. I found myself determined to bring a different mindset home with me. This meant building boundaries and remaining alert to the rhythm of a life that pauses and reflects on not only the choices in front of me, but what I am avoiding by being swept up by superficial demands and distractions.

This constant pressure to choose perfectly can lead to a mental block known as analysis paralysis. We get stuck overthinking every option, fearing a wrong decision, which ultimately prevents us from making any decision at all. This indecisiveness can chip away at our mental well-being, fueling anxiety and leaving us feeling frustrated and unfulfilled.

Paralysis is debilitating, however it manifests.

●      Freeze mode in a trauma response of fight, flight, or freeze

●      Task paralysis is common in those with ADHD

●      Burnout and depression can lead to an inability to tend to basic needs

As therapists, we are faced with providing tools to help our clients move through paralysis into healing action on a regular basis. Some things are out of our (and our clients’) control, and yet sometimes a new way to simplify things comes to us, and a new tool emerges.”

By embracing a more mindful approach to choice, perhaps we can cultivate a life filled with greater peace, purpose, and appreciation for the simple joys that surround us. After all, life is a gift, and choice is something we are fortunate to have.